Manifestation Through Conceit

I am conceited, and I will get everything I want, and nothing will stop me from getting everything I want. Life is a straight line, stretching from life, death, and everything in the middle. If I want it, then it already exists in my timeline, and it's not "if" I get them, but rather, when. Because I will. I always do. 

Grateful for you!

Here's the thing, girls: I am pressured! 195 followers is insane! I honestly can't shut up about my blog to my family, friends, and loved ones, and your presence is a testimony that what I am building and creating is something worthwhile. The reason I am pressured is because with every post or update, somehow, I feel that it needs to be impressive as well. Here's my way of breaking that. I don't have to post an extremely long, thought-provoking blog post, maybe I could just make a simple one, a thank you letter. 

To my luvbug club, 

Thank you so much for taking the time in your busy day to come to my page, see what I've created, poke around, and then letting me know that you liked it. I know that some of you girls (and perhaps, guys) are working full-time jobs, are in school full-time, or just simply really busy, and I cannot even begin how grateful I am that you took a minute or two out of your busy schedule to be here. Thank you for 195 followers. When I was starting this page, I was scared that I wouldn't be able to get one person to follow me, and I would delete it out of embarrassment. Not only did I prove myself wrong, I also learned to confidently take risks in my life by putting myself out there. 

Again, thank you so much, and I wish nothing but happiness, peace, joy, and all of the beautiful things in the world for you and I. 

Love,

Luvbug. 

Manipulating Myself Into Being Happy

There are days where I convince myself I am happy, and it always works. Like, I am full-on delusional. I am convinced that I am so happy, even when things around me aren't going well. 

Romantic Things I Want to Experience

 

I was a romantic. Note: Was. At twenty-three years old, I had my fair share of breakups and disappointments. I used to believe on this fairytale-kind of love, the kind where the boy would do everything for me, to win my love. That's not the reality, though. Reality is harsh, love is cut-throat. Love is an industry where only the best and the adored wins. I know that sounds pessimistic and hopeless, but you'd have to understand, this is coming from a girl notoriously known for writing love poems and love letters. There are certain things I've accepted that wasn't real, or at least, wasn't real for me. That fairytale love is one of those things. 

Starve The Ego, Feed The Soul

The destruction of Ego, the birth of life. 

If I tell you that the only way to build compassion, love, and happiness is to destroy yourself, would you believe me?

Duh, not literally. We'll destroy who you think you are.

Ranking Taylor Swift's eras

 

I've been so in love with Taylor Swift since I was like 15, and nothing has changed since then. I honestly just think she has one of the best discography for girls. After listening to every song in her discography, this is my official Taylor Swift ranking:

12. The Life of a Showgirl 

On the bottom, TLOAS, you were good, I'm waiting for you to be great... I enjoyed this album despite all the criticism and the "I cannot defend her anymore" posts. I was a TLOAS defender, through and through. But the album felt rushed to me, it just sounds like certain songs belong to other albums, these songs sound like they were from the vault. Cancelled! sounds like a reputation song. Opalite sounds like a Lover song. So on and on. 

11. Debut

Never speak ill of Debut! That's my girl for real. Should've Said No did NOT come to play. She had a worn-out cowboy boots, a tangled curly hair, and a dream. There's better albums though, for sure. 

10. Speak Now

First of all, fuck you, John Mayer. But seriously, Speak Now has hits after hits after hits, Dear John is by-far one of the top 10 songs she wrote, that pen was on fire when she sat down and wrote that. But I don't have a choice but to put this at 10th place because I like the other albums better. 

9. Fearless

Fearless used to be on my top 5 until recently. I feel so sad that this album is almost at the bottom because I used to be a fearless girly. I love how this album shows the experiences of every teenage girl: heartbreaks, losing friendships, loving your family... it's such a beautiful album, I have no words. I truly do not hate any song in this album. this is literally my baby. But I just HAVE to stick it out, okay. The real heavy hitters are yet to come. 

8. Lover

I love Lover, like yes, you're happy... but are you? You delusional girl! I like the concept of lover because she's so in love and so clueless. If you truly listen to this album, especially songs like The Archer and Afterglow, you can literally tell there are problems in this relationship that she's sweeping under the rug because she's too scared to face them. It was a good album, I loved the songs. Daylight, Paper Rings, and Cornelia Street went triple platinum in my household. 

7. Reputation

Contrary to popular belief, reputation was, in fact, not her revenge era (we'll discuss what her true revenge era was) it was actually her lover era. The Lover album is begging for things to not change, Reputation IS the falling in love. This is when she's falling into the rabbit hole that is Joe (yuck!) Honestly, this album was shocking to me when it was first released. End Game with Future was definitely not the typical cookie-cutter Taylor Swift aesthetic, and I love it! I think in Reputation, she's starting to explore other options and she's spreading her wings. Good for her. 

6. Midnights 

When Midnights released. I didn't initially appreciated it, but I let it marinate in my spotify a little longer and I started appreciating it for what it was: adulthood. This album literally went through the stages of grief, denial (Lavender Haze, Maroon), anger (Vigilante Shit, Anti-Hero, Karma), bargaining (Mastermind, Question...?, Hits Different), depression (Labyrinth, You're On Your Own Kid, Bigger Than The Whole Sky, Dear Reader), then, acceptance (Sweet Nothings, Bejeweled.) Bigger Than The Whole Sky is so sad that when I finally understood it, I was sick to my stomach. "did some force take you because I didn't pray?," who the fuck writes like this nowadays?! Oh my god.. 

5. 1989

Now, let's get to business. Dare I say, 1989 is what TLOAS thought she was... but SHE WILL NEVER BE! 1989 is that girl, okay. She lives in the prime neighborhood in Manhattan, she wears cool clothes, she dates the hot guy in the band, she's friends with supermodels, she is HER. 1989 is the girl we all want to be. She's blonde, she's skinny, she's rich, and she's a little bit of a bitch! This album gave us the Blank Space, Shake It Off, Wildest Dreams, Out of The Woods, I can name all the songs because not one was bad! 

4. Evermore

And here comes 'tis the season to remind us she's depressed. Honestly, I love Evermore, sometimes there were days I think it is better than Folklore (woah, woah, who said that!!!) but honestly, evermore is the matured, "I'll suffer in silence because none of y'all will understand me" version of Folklore. Unlike her twin sister who wants to let everybody know she wants to die, Evermore just locks herself in her room and cry in silence, and I honestly think that shows grief that's trying to progress. Songs like Its Time To Go and Happiness show that Evermore is trying to move on. It hurts, but she can do get it over with. 

3. Folklore

People say Folklore is her magnum opus. Dare I say, Joe bored her to death, she started creating scenarios in her head, it definitely wasn't her greatest work, but it was great. I cannot deny the excellence that is Folklore. Taylor Swift was able to show off how good her songwriting was with My Tears Ricochet, Peace, and The Lakes. I think, in this album, she was starting to process the emotions she couldn't detect back in Lover, that kind of grief that comes in realizing that something weren't meant to be for you. Especially in Peace. Peace was so gut-wrenching because it was literally her begging. Folklore was beautiful. "your integrity makes me seem small, you paint dreamscapes on the wall, I talk shit with my friends. it's like i'm wasting your honor," Honestly, what the hell. 

2. Red

Everybody in the back, right now! Where do I begin with Red? I could argue, this is the real magnum opus, but I know that isn't right, but oh my god, Red was a whole different level. All Too Well, State of Grace, Holy Ground, banger after banger. The pen was definitely working overtime during Red era. I am honestly so speechless with this album. My favorite songs were Sad Beautiful Tragic, Everything Has Changed, and All Too Well. "All I know is we said hello, so, dust off your highest hopes," wow. The songwriting was impeccable. I have no words. Compliments to the chef please! 

1. The Tortured Poets Department

On top of the pyramid, going three for three, once again, is TTPD. You knew she was coming at first, I knew she was coming at first. TTPD is the real magnum opus. The anger and grief mixed in every single track was so beautifully written. Honestly, I was going through a breakup with my own Matty Healy during the time, so this went DIAMOND, triple platinum, #1 on all charts, in my household. Where do I even begin? My god, what can we even say about TTPD? loml, the smallest man who ever lived, The Black Dog, COSOSOM, The Prophecy, and Peter took the top six spots of my top 10 saddest songs I've ever heard. I was SO sick for her. I was absolutely wrecked, disgusted, and heartbroken. Fuck Matty Healy, fuck Joe Alwyn, and you know what, fuck me too, I can't even blame her. 

I love Taylor Swift, and I speak for everyone when I say we ALL love her. You have no choice. You love her now too.

Love, 

Indira

knowing when and how to let go

 

It took years of heart break just for me to learn how to let go