Wishes & Full Packages

 Hey, guys! It has been almost a month since my last post. Honestly, so many things in my life has demanded more of me than what I thought it would. So, let's recap:

I've been extremely busy with work. Work has occupied six days out of the seven I have. School, then, occupies the bits and pieces of hours I have left. On top of that, I am managing being a mother to three cats and a 8-month old dog, a wife to my husband, and a friend to my loved ones. So yeah, it has been really hectic lately. On top of that, I've been thinking a lot about my manifestations. I know I've posted a lot of entries about manifestations: how to get it, how to manifest properly, etcetera, but what I have not talked about is the packages that comes with it. 

Often times, I have big goals. Growing up, I've always been labeled ambitious and competitive. So, with my big ambitions, big visions, and an even bigger dreams, I learned how to visualize these goals and manifest them from a very young age. I remember being thirteen when I first created my vision board: I wanted more paper dolls, better grades, and to grow my hair healthier. I remember being seventeen when I first learned how to meditate and manifest at the same time. So, clearly, there is a pattern here: I am a manifester. I will manifest everything, anything, something, every single day. 

However, as I come to find out at the ripe age of twenty-three, these manifestations did not come with just what I asked for, it also come with terms and conditions, fine print at the very bottom of my paper I was not able to read prior to signing. My overly-religious (and borderline cult-ish) mother always say, at least, in her own religious terms I was never able to understand fully, maybe because they hardly made any sense, that if we asked God for something, we would have to pay something in return for it. Surprisingly, even though I am not religious and had never been, her words are true. With every wish, every prayer and every manifestation, comes with, not a payment, as she would word it, but rather, a demand. 

For example, I got the role in a company I wished to be a part of for three years, and it was everything I hoped it would be, except the fact that now, the job is demanding more parts of myself and my 100% commitment. I asked to be more confident, and I was forced in uncomfortable situations that forced me to combat my own internal battles. I asked for more patience, and I encountered situations that tested my forgiveness and understanding, and stretched my empathy as thin as possible. I asked for the ability to be the best in class, now I sacrificed leisure time where I could have been coding for my blog, watching movies, hanging out with friends, for more study sessions and work schedules. 

Despite the sacrifices necessary to take the steps I needed to take to get where I wanted to go, through it all, I still have to remember that at the end of the day, these are the things I asked for, these are the things that came with the manifestations and intentions I set into the universe. I didn't ask for an easy job, I asked for an important role; therefore, I am. I didn't ask for my confidence and patience to come out of nowhere; I asked to learn and earn them; therefore, I am. Everything I had ever wanted demanded parts of myself I had learn how to unlock, they demanded parts of myself that, sometimes, I had to discover. It forced me out of the old version of myself, into a new me where I was doing things I would not normally do. 

So, yes, I've been extremely busy, and I haven't had much rest, and haven't had much time to blog and give you cool new gadgets to click around my little corner of the internet, but just so you know, even though I so dearly miss you, and miss being luvbug, I can't deny how satisfied I am that I am being challenged by the higher version of myself, the version of myself that had already achieved everything I ever wanted. With the sacrifices I choose to make, comes the manifestations I begged for. Give and take. Fair and just.

Here's to sacrifices and achieving our dreams, 

Luvbug.